wild rose

I wonder if people ever really knew me. If they really ever saw me when I was whole. Once. Some said I changed. Some said I'm just not me. Some said I am being.. fake? Well, this is my answer: Everyone knows that people grow: just like the trees you planted at the back of your house when you were 3. As you’re breathing, you’ll grow: beneath all those waves of laughter, all those rains of tears, all those sorrows, and all those feelings you’re having. I can't promise that I’ll stay me, the me 10 years back. And I can't promise me as a whole for now. I lost parts of mine throughout the years I’m growing. And believe me, I know the me now is not the me I dreamed to be when I was 9 years old, the me now is not even the me I wanted. But that doesn't make me a failure, that just make a .... much more of a human. I don't know in which term of me or which lifetime of mine you once know. But the me now isn't whole, and the me now is as weak as the angel’s feathers I ...

‘Why is it so hard for you to forget him?’ A simple question that I’ll still answer with my shaky voice while my eyes are fully crystallise.  Sigh.  What made you think it’ll be easy, to forget someone whom I once wanted to spend my entire life with? I already have taken my relationship to a new level, the moment I wanted to spend my entire life with him. And I know, once I decided that, I began brewing a possible future for the both of us in my little mind, and it was the most beautiful, and the happiest thing I could ever imagine. Day and night, I knit a perfect world for both of us, using the threads colored with love, commitments, and compromises. We both could do things that pleased both of us. We could enjoy listening to the same song. We could walk side by side holding hands while getting bathed in the sun or drenched in the rain or stay awake at night, stargazing into each other’s eyes.  ‘But he left you’  Yes, he did. I knew it as soon as he...

September’s love, It was years back when I got what I’ll say as my first love, where those roses inside me grew, letting me breathe not just the plain air, but something much more sweeter. But I lost him. And years being with someone new, I’ll still look at him like he's mine, I’ll still secretly asking for us again. Up until i met you, my September’s love. Build on complications, love against faith, we pulled through each of the waves ahead: dodging sins, killing life. For all we know nothing worth than us, and believed our rose were the brightest. You were the man, I loved for days, weeks, and months, yet each time our hands meet, it will always feel like I’ve been holding this for years and forever: maybe in a different lifetime I believe. You held up my universe inside your hands, while kissing those stars on my bedsheet of clouds, to light up my night. I believed you loved me too, because you’ve said it, in your whispers, in your screams, in your promises, in your slee...