A letter for love,
September’s love,
It was years back when I got what I’ll say as my first love, where those roses inside me grew, letting me breathe not just the plain air, but something much more sweeter. But I lost him. And years being with someone new, I’ll still look at him like he's mine, I’ll still secretly asking for us again.
Up until i met you, my September’s love.
Build on complications, love against faith, we pulled through each of the waves ahead: dodging sins, killing life. For all we know nothing worth than us, and believed our rose were the brightest.
You were the man, I loved for days, weeks, and months, yet each time our hands meet, it will always feel like I’ve been holding this for years and forever: maybe in a different lifetime I believe. You held up my universe inside your hands, while kissing those stars on my bedsheet of clouds, to light up my night. I believed you loved me too, because you’ve said it, in your whispers, in your screams, in your promises, in your sleep. For so many hours, I let you invaded my heart, turning it into your own dream house, while you’re letting me, loving you in my own selfish and craziest ways. We have so many misunderstandings, sometimes it was as small as our egos we hold against another, while sometimes it was as big as our love towards each other. And sometimes, we may come up with our past mistakes when we argue, but we know we’ll settle in each other’s arms. You know I was fragile. And you know I was broken from the inside. Yet you took piece by piece. Putting me back together. You’ll always teach me new things: how to hold my anger, how to be less annoying, how to be so much stronger, without you even noticed. Maybe that's why, you forgot to teach me how to live and be happy without you: your presence, your loving arms, your smiles, your laughs, everything, moreover, these 3 words you’ll always say, that made my heart beats for your name. I love you.
Funny, how we always talk about our endings, being together. How we’ll smile and laugh along the days, although we know they’ll be rain, but still believing in the power of each other’s soft touch. But now I guess, the endings we dreamt about, only belong to the dreams, and in my prayers rather than being realized in the world’s dimensions. For, the happily ever after we dreamt off, are now scratched.
And now, while scrolling through our pictures and videos together, I realized, you never really hold my universe, rather, you are my universe: I colored my clouds with your kisses, I filled my garden with your love, and I build my house with your loving arms.
Yet you had left now.
You had lost the feelings you had for me once.
And how silly i am for thinking i have solved you.
For you are unpredictable, something much more complex. And changes so much often.
How i wished, the forever you promised, would meant till the last dirt crushed, and till we’re intertwined our hands again in another life.
But now, I am just a part of your past, that will one day be forgotten.
September’s love, my sweet orange blossoms, you put an end to us, and that's easy for you to past through, but as for me, in our end, it had its own severe ending. The one I need to go passes through alone. The ending which will make me realize, that you won't come back. The one that makes me ache in silence because I know, for how bad I’ll scream, my voice will still not reached you. This is the ending I fear the most.
But my sweet orange blossoms, believe me, I tried to move on. I went to new places, eat new foods, without you, without your hands gripping mine. Without your smiles. Without your laughs. Without your voice that would have calmed me. Without your hugs in each of those horror movies. I tried moving on and collecting my shattered universe that may already be turned to dust so I can build my own universe again. While. I searched for you in someone else’s eyes and voice. I searched for you in someone else’s skin and smells. But i always ended up with zero findings. Maybe it’s true, you are the one and only. One of a kind. Maybe that's why even after so many times you hurt me, I could still take it. Pain after pain. And no matter how many times you pushed me away, telling me to go, I would still run and hug you tight.
It was years back when I got what I’ll say as my first love, where those roses inside me grew, letting me breathe not just the plain air, but something much more sweeter. But I lost him. And years being with someone new, I’ll still look at him like he's mine, I’ll still secretly asking for us again.
Up until i met you, my September’s love.
Build on complications, love against faith, we pulled through each of the waves ahead: dodging sins, killing life. For all we know nothing worth than us, and believed our rose were the brightest.
You were the man, I loved for days, weeks, and months, yet each time our hands meet, it will always feel like I’ve been holding this for years and forever: maybe in a different lifetime I believe. You held up my universe inside your hands, while kissing those stars on my bedsheet of clouds, to light up my night. I believed you loved me too, because you’ve said it, in your whispers, in your screams, in your promises, in your sleep. For so many hours, I let you invaded my heart, turning it into your own dream house, while you’re letting me, loving you in my own selfish and craziest ways. We have so many misunderstandings, sometimes it was as small as our egos we hold against another, while sometimes it was as big as our love towards each other. And sometimes, we may come up with our past mistakes when we argue, but we know we’ll settle in each other’s arms. You know I was fragile. And you know I was broken from the inside. Yet you took piece by piece. Putting me back together. You’ll always teach me new things: how to hold my anger, how to be less annoying, how to be so much stronger, without you even noticed. Maybe that's why, you forgot to teach me how to live and be happy without you: your presence, your loving arms, your smiles, your laughs, everything, moreover, these 3 words you’ll always say, that made my heart beats for your name. I love you.
Funny, how we always talk about our endings, being together. How we’ll smile and laugh along the days, although we know they’ll be rain, but still believing in the power of each other’s soft touch. But now I guess, the endings we dreamt about, only belong to the dreams, and in my prayers rather than being realized in the world’s dimensions. For, the happily ever after we dreamt off, are now scratched.
And now, while scrolling through our pictures and videos together, I realized, you never really hold my universe, rather, you are my universe: I colored my clouds with your kisses, I filled my garden with your love, and I build my house with your loving arms.
Yet you had left now.
You had lost the feelings you had for me once.
And how silly i am for thinking i have solved you.
For you are unpredictable, something much more complex. And changes so much often.
How i wished, the forever you promised, would meant till the last dirt crushed, and till we’re intertwined our hands again in another life.
But now, I am just a part of your past, that will one day be forgotten.
September’s love, my sweet orange blossoms, you put an end to us, and that's easy for you to past through, but as for me, in our end, it had its own severe ending. The one I need to go passes through alone. The ending which will make me realize, that you won't come back. The one that makes me ache in silence because I know, for how bad I’ll scream, my voice will still not reached you. This is the ending I fear the most.
But my sweet orange blossoms, believe me, I tried to move on. I went to new places, eat new foods, without you, without your hands gripping mine. Without your smiles. Without your laughs. Without your voice that would have calmed me. Without your hugs in each of those horror movies. I tried moving on and collecting my shattered universe that may already be turned to dust so I can build my own universe again. While. I searched for you in someone else’s eyes and voice. I searched for you in someone else’s skin and smells. But i always ended up with zero findings. Maybe it’s true, you are the one and only. One of a kind. Maybe that's why even after so many times you hurt me, I could still take it. Pain after pain. And no matter how many times you pushed me away, telling me to go, I would still run and hug you tight.
Comments
Post a Comment